December 4, 2020
Posted by: cbtkeadmin
Narcissistic Personality Disorder – CBT Kenya
People with this condition have an inflated idea of themselves and a need for lots of attention from other people. It’s human nature to be selfish and boastful now and then, but true narcissists take it to an extreme. They also don’t value others’ feelings or ideas and ignore others’ needs. A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. They may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they’re not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling and others may not enjoy being around them.
Signs someone’s a narcissist
- A narcissist will routinely overestimate their abilities while simultaneously devaluing the contributions of other people, and they may act surprised when they don’t get the praise they feel they deserve. Often, if they aren’t achieving success, they find a way to blame other people or society, but never themselves.
- Despite the fact that people with NPD often act boastful and overconfident, their self-esteem can actually be pretty fragile. They have a tendency to be preoccupied with what people think of them and feel pretty shocked when people don’t dole out the praise. This can be particularly true in relationships.
- They’re also the type of people who will make you bend over backwards to accommodate them and then act totally unappreciative. You could plan an entire event around this one person’s schedule and then they might not even show up. It doesn’t even occur to them that they just pissed everyone off.
- Narcissists are notorious for being unable to empathize with the struggles or pain of others. Sometimes a person with NPD can seem totally reasonable until they say something that’s just outrageously insensitive. They will often talk at length about their own troubles and believe that people genuinely care.
- Narcissists are constantly comparing themselves to others, especially very successful people, which can trigger feelings of envy. And if they achieve success in their lives, they often (happily) think others are jealous or envious of them.
- A narcissist’s sense of entitlement combined with their lack of empathy makes them ripe for taking advantage of people for their own benefit. This is one reason people with NPD can be terrible to work for. If you have a narcissistic boss, they may work you into the ground without giving you the respect or compensation you deserve.
If you can’t avoid the person, try to build up your healthy relationships and support network of people. Spending too much time in a dysfunctional relationship with someone who has a narcissistic personality can leave you emotionally drained.
- When they want to, those with narcissistic personalities are pretty good at turning on the charm. You might find yourself drawn to their grand ideas and promises. This can also make them particularly popular in work settings. But before you get drawn in, watch how they treat people when they’re not “on stage.” If you catch them lying, manipulating, or blatantly disrespecting others, there’s no reason to believe they won’t do the same to you.
- A person with a narcissistic personality is often quite self-absorbed. They may also have little sense of personal space, so they tend to cross a lot of boundaries. More often than not, they don’t even see them. That’s why you have to be abundantly clear about boundaries that are important to you.
- Once you speak up and set boundaries, they may come back with some demands of their own. They may also try to manipulate you into feeling guilty or believing that you’re the one being unreasonable and controlling. They might make a play for sympathy. Be prepared to stand your ground. If you take a step backward, they won’t take you seriously next time.
- A person with narcissistic personality disorder isn’t likely to admit a mistake or take responsibility for hurting you. Instead, they tend to project their own negative behaviors onto you or someone else. You might be tempted to keep the peace by accepting blame, but you don’t have to belittle yourself to salvage their ego.
People with narcissistic personality disorder may not want to think that anything could be wrong, so they may be unlikely to seek treatment. If they do seek treatment, it’s more likely to be for symptoms of depression, drug or alcohol use, or another mental health problem. But perceived insults to self-esteem may make it difficult to accept and follow through with treatment. If you recognize aspects of your personality that are common to narcissistic personality disorder or you’re feeling overwhelmed by sadness, consider reaching out to a trusted doctor or mental health provider. Getting the right treatment can help make your life more rewarding and enjoyable.
Rekindle old friendships and try to nurture new ones. Get together with family more often. If your social circle is smaller than you’d prefer, try taking a class to explore a new hobby. Get active in your community or volunteer for a local charity. Do something that allows you to meet more people you feel comfortable with.
Word from CBT Kenya
We tend to use the word narcissist to describe a person who’s self-centered and short on empathy. But it’s important to remember that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a legitimate mental health condition that requires diagnosis by a mental health professional.