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Boundless Forgiveness: Lessons from Jesus and Practical Applications
  • November 19, 2024
  • Comments: 33
  • Posted by: cbtkeadmin

In the Bible, Jesus profoundly addresses forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-22. When Peter asks how many times one should forgive, Jesus responds, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven.” This symbolic expression of 490 isn’t a literal tally but a call for boundless forgiveness, a mindset that encourages us to go far beyond keeping score and challenges us to embrace a forgiving attitude, even when wronged repeatedly.

At some point in life, we have all been hurt by those closest to us. This reality is an indication that forgiveness is a choice and personal responsibility that can be a difficult and painful process. People who hurt us can apologize and show remorse, yet may continue to hurt us, leading to questions about their sincerity in words and actions. These repeated and sometimes unintended offenses lead to skepticism, especially their endless requests for forgiveness for their actions.

Consequently, reemergence of past emotional wounds, keeping a mental note of all that have wronged you, and interacting cautiously to protect yourself may become the norm. These self-protective mechanisms are understandably a measure of self-preservation that often leads to a myriad of emotions and thoughts.

The irony is that the people who hurt us most are often those we care and interact with frequently; a sibling, spouse, close friend, or colleague. This reality underscores a profound truth: forgiveness is easier said than done. Statements such as “forgive and forget,” “ you should let go of the past,” and “leave it to God” sound ideal, but they oversimplify the emotional and psychological complexities involved in the journey of forgiveness.

Forgiveness requires personal introspection and the realization of the problem therein, readiness, and willingness to confront the rollercoaster of pent-up emotions. When rushed or forced, it is unlikely to be genuine. For instance, someone might say, “Sure, I’ve forgiven you,” but their actions will contradict their words. Lack of forgiveness may camouflage the underlying emotions, and they may present themselves later in various ways like anger, mistrust, self-doubt, feeling constantly exhausted and overwhelmed, avoiding conversations or physical pain that has no medical basis.

The long-term consequences of lack of forgiveness can lead to cynicism, building emotional walls like stone walling that don’t allow people into your life or you avoid revealing much about yourself. You may prefer to isolate yourself which may be misconstrued as being “a lone ranger”. More often than not, you may experience intense moments of past wounds hijack your peace. And frequently, people, places, or situations will inevitably cause pain. If for you, this is the case, it could be time to consider the path of forgiveness.

Holding onto years of negative thoughts and feelings due to lack of forgiveness only perpetuates the ultimate standoff in your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Inevitably over time, unforgiveness subtly shapes our behavior and identity. To avoid or not think about the pain of unforgiveness, some people develop seemingly acceptable coping mechanisms like perfectionism, workaholism, or controlling tendencies. Others may isolate themselves, harbor suspicions about others’ intentions, or strive for approval through self-pleasing behavior or “superhuman” efforts like being a super mother, dad, worker.

Unfortunately, these patterns often lead to burnout, self-blame, blaming others or feelings of inadequacy. Without intervention, they become ingrained, making it even harder to break free. The longer one delays addressing the root causes of unforgiveness, the more entrenched the pain and behaviors become. The good news is the human brain is remarkably adaptable, capable of learning new patterns and adopting healthier coping strategies. By committing to practices of acceptance, self-compassion, and positive self-reflection, it is possible to rewire our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in readiness for the journey of forgiveness. Adaptive coping strategies can replace negative cycles with positive ones, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

However, a lack of practicing the art of forgiveness consistently results in the same patterns of pain and suffering. Forgiveness is a process that takes time. It would be helpful to remember, forgiveness offers freedom. It’s not about condoning or forgetting the harm done but about releasing the power that pain holds over us and the ability to develop the resilience to forgive over and over and over again… Forgiving others and ourselves requires courage, self-awareness, and patience. Jesus’ teaching encourages us to release the burdens of resentment and embrace healing. Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past, but it frees us to live fully in the present. By letting go of the need to keep count, we find peace and a renewed sense of purpose.

Ultimately, forgiveness aligns us with the boundless compassion Jesus exemplifies.

Boundless Forgiveness: Lessons from Jesus and Practical Applications, CBT Kenya, Counselling services in Kenya, Counselling services in Nairobi, Mental health, Therapists in Lavington
Author: cbtkeadmin

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